GOSH!

So much has happened...

Went for a 10 mile walk whilst taking nearly 200 diazepam in an attempt to kill myself... have lost sooo much trust from my partner... I can't blame him... who could cope knowing your partner would rather kill themselves than talk to you?

Am still on leave from hospital, although at home for while, anyone from FSA, probably already knows a lot of whats been going on, I'm not going into it on here...

BUT anyone out there thinking of suicide... PLEASE TALK to someone first... friends, family, even the samaritans...

I am now facing the comsequences of my actions, and its not much fun... but I have to get there in order to get better... Its an illnesss
I keep having to tell myself that, I'm ill....

oh my... I'm just posting this now, and going...

New Year Starts TODAY!

Weell, yesterday went exactly as expected...

We said goodbye to Mum, in exactly the way she would have wanted, and just the immediate family had a meal and raised a toast to her memory...

Sooo.. today 2007 begins in earnest for me...

YUP, a week late, but sometimes thats the way that life cookie crumbles...

Once again folks, open invite to join me and friends on line on chat... its bring your own drinks (LMSO, they haven't yet worked out how to cyber-send a bottle of stella IRL!)...

Just leave me a message, either on FSA, or here and I'll add you in to come allow to my cabin...

Which, by the way took me HOURS to design and still looks ummmmm... welll, like a 2 year old did it! But come on, I'm still learning!

Sooo... Sunday morning I expect to be going around something like this:

Another Eulogy Written

Some of you know... on christmas day I took my mother into hospital for the last time... She was diagnosed with acute renal failure and put onto a dialysis machine... By the 27th there was still no improvements and the doctors asked permission to withdraw all her medications apart from pain relief...Mum passed away around 6.30am on the 28th...
I've just finished writing yet another eulogy... 10 years ago for my husband, 5 years ago for my dad, 2 years ago my son, and now my mum...The most difficult piece of writing I ever have to do, yet the most important... Mum's funeral is on Thursday 4th, and for me Friday will be when 2007 really starts for me...
2007 is going to be a joyous year for me though... real commitment from baldierobber (LOL, in fact there IS talk of weddings... don't rush out for the dress's yet, we're talking 2009!), and a joint adoption of BornIn1996 all on the cards...
I'm looking forward to everyone who has ben with me through the bumps and the lows to look forward with me to the highs and the celebrations ahead...
Life is ever going forwards, and our past can only make us stronger...
I know I'm not the only one who's had a tough year, and am making a suggestion: I'm about to make a thread, inviting as many as possible to an Online New Years Party, hopefully this coming weekend, where we can toast together the bad times cause they make us appreciate the good times sooo much more...

http://www.fsa-uk.co.uk/community/index.php?showtopic=4043